Be the best version of you

I think it’s a natural thing for us to compare ourselves to other people, compare the money, compare the looks, compare the relationship, compare the education, compare the body, compare the diet. But why? We are all made up of different genetic combinations, we’re not all supposed to be doing and looking the same.

I’ve told you I’m easy to influence, and that I’ve taken my precautions to avoid falling into a pattern of destructive thoughts, but I still notice how easily affected I can become by little things. In the gym, see a girl doing supersets of chin-ups (my ultimate goal in life…. almost) and pushups, get pissed because I can’t do the same, and decide to give it a try. The result? Complete failure and an arm and a wrist in pain. The same story has happened with the squat rack, the treadmill, the hip-thrusts, the shoulder-presses. I’ve hopefully learnt now.

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I’m not saying we should instantly be satisfied with the level we are at, because there is always room for improvement, but I’m saying we should get there in our own time. I’ve learnt the hard way, trying to dead-lift an obscene amount of weight by myself in the gym, instead of slowly working my way there. Up until July I’d only ever done one complete pushup in my life, now I’m able to do 12×3 sets, and it burns. When I finish those three sets, I’ve given it my all. I’m slowly decreasing the weights on the assisted chin-up machine, in other words – I’m closer to be doing one single chin-up with my own bodyweight. I will get there, I just happen to have bumped into about three hundred obstacles on my way because I’ve not listened to the advice I’ve been given by professionals, or the signals my body has been giving me.

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I like the idea of being better versions of ourselves. Not better than our best friend, not better than the chick on the cover of the magazine, not better than the bloody fit girls in the gym. We can look at them for inspiration, but we’re all different and maybe we are better at something that they completely fail at. It is also a lot more fun working out, eating clean and working towards a goal like chin-ups, a six-pack or the feeling of a healthy body, than saying “I will lose x amount of weight in 4 months”, because trust me, that’ll just make you slightly depressed.

Either way, I’m finally back at the stage where I can do hip-thrusts properly again, and I had another personal best yesterday of 75kg. I still remember looking at those girls on Instagram doing 50kg about 6 months ago, not understanding how the hell they managed moving that much weight with their legs and ass, whilst I was struggling with my 17kg, but now I’m moving my old bodyweight. A whole person!

Yesterday was also my cheat-day and I enjoyed mountains of chocolate, and woke up with a mouth as dry as a desert this morning. We were meant to go for fro-yo’s yesterday too, but some silly Norwegian was trying to make peanut butter on her own, and decided to put her finger in the blender, so we ended up hanging out at the emergency room instead. Life in Melbourne.

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Got fro-yo today instead, and guess what guys, they had three flavours sweetened with stevia instead of sugar! Now, that doesn’t mean we should be eating it everyday, but every once in a while, the treat is great (ignoring that I’m not supposed to have dairy). If you top it with berries and nuts that is, not chocolate and cookies like a certain housemate did.

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Speaking of becoming a better version of myself, I am terrible at budgeting and have been dodging my account for the past two months. Line forced me to check it yesterday, and let’s just say that.. my lunch won’t be looking like this in the future.

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My dinners still will though. It is of course fully possible to eat healthy and work out on a budget (story of my life the last three months of every damn semester), and I’ll tell you how; prioritizing what you spend your money on. Don’t buy that chocolate, don’t buy that coke, don’t buy that special offer of ‘buy 3 pay for 2’ of the chips. Buy the real food that your body is in need of. Dodge everything else.

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Good girl syndrome

I keep getting emails, messages and comments from people saying that I’m so good at being healthy, like don’t I ever fail? Well, let me tell you about my weekend. Friday and Saturday. Fairly normal days. Had two smashing workouts, ate clean both days. No candy. Then. My housemate had his 21st Saturday night, so I had both wine and beer (and a shot or ten…) and I woke up feeling like shit on Sunday (as always). I then had a homemade pizza for breakfast (the only thing I can never justify buying, is a frozen pizza), chocolate and some other processed lollies in between, a whole litre of pepsi max (!!!!), ate cake straight from the box with a fork, had chips and dip, and then proceeded to order a chicken kebab plate with dips AND white bread.

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Dragged my sorry ass to the gym monday morning to get some cardio done, and boy did I look like shit. Even the guys in the gym had to point that out to me. My hair was one big dread on the top of my head, I really struggled pushing through 45 minutes with a steady heart-rate on the cross-trainer, and I swear I was sweating alcohol.

So no, I’m not always healthy. But I’m not always unhealthy either. There is a fine balance. And no need to go as crazy as I do every hungover-Sunday, that’s not particularly healthy either. And it made me feel really sick, in fact I’m still kind of suffering a tad from that food. The healthier you eat, the more you suffer when you once in a while decide to “cheat”, but I can assure you that whatever you crave tastes about 200 times better if you’ve avoided it for 6 days and finally get to eat it.

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When I quit sugar and all of a sudden had candy, my body responded by giving me a sick rash and the driest mouth ever. I remember telling Line, and she was like.. “yeah right”. Okay, she believed me, but you get the point. Then, Line quit candy on weekdays, and she has noticed her mouth becoming really dry when having candy too. Isn’t it amazing that the body can do that to you?

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And in terms of workouts, it is almost self-explanatory that when I workout nine times a week, I don’t aaaalways have a great workout. Some days I just struggle through, barely sweat and go home thinking I’ll do better tomorrow. Some days I have to lift the lightest weights, don’t even finish my sets and get a stitch just by looking at the treadmill. But then I have those days where the music is perfect, my muscles look defined, I increase my weights and I leave the gym drowning in sweat but with a smile on my face.

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There is a fine balance between everything, I don’t put all of my cheat-meals on Instagram and I don’t tell you when I completely fail in the gym, I’m trying to inspire – not to tell you everything I do wrong. And I don’t consider eating healthy to be annoying, I love eating the way I do, I love my vegetables and I love my regular breakfast of eggs and oats, it doesn’t feel like I’m sacrificing anything. I made the choice, I didn’t give up anything. I’m still living my life.